I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
