We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
