Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize