sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize