Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
