Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
