White coat. Heels.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
