i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
