If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
A bitchslap is in order.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
