I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
