dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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