Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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