If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
