It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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