hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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