I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's official drugs can't kill me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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