Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
