Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
