we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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