It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
