I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
