Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
