who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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