Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Still dying that you shit outside
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
