if i died would you start the facebook group?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
