So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
