I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
