you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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