You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
