He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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