Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
