she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize