You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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