i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i think im in europe. pls send help
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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