I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
