just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
