I want to make a zoo with you.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
