Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
