I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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