the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
