I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
