Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
