But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize