just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
