Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
