I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
