this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
