I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
