Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
