That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
