sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
