and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
