life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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