how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
