$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i would punch a child for taco bell
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
