I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
