You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
