In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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