I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
