She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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