Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
