I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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