I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
