she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
